I sent out a Tweet a little while ago in an attempt to be funny. It stated simply: I’m making 2013 my bitch. I laughed at my dorkiness for a few moments, and then I began to think. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how much I meant exactly what I said. It’s no secret that the past couple of years have been the most difficult of my life in many ways. I wanted to give up and crawl in a hole so many times, but I didn’t. I kept pushing myself beyond the limits I thought I had. I kept trying to see the positive side of everything we went through. Slowly but surely, the past few months have seen an improvement every time the calendar turns. It’s getting better. And I’m going to make damn sure the next year is the best yet.
Yes, things will happen that are beyond my control. I’ve learned that the hard way. I’ve also learned that once something bad and unexpected happens, it follows that more things will pile up against you. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles. You shovel yourself out from under it all, one layer at a time. I’ve been so blessed to have been able to count on so many wonderful friends who helped us through this horrible period. But I’ve come to realize that I have also been able to count on myself. When something new comes along that doesn’t fit in with my plans, I will simply grab my shovel and begin to dig.
I don’t have any illusions for the coming year. I won’t get rich. I won’t magically become healthy. There will be no headlines with my name in them. I will have problems. I will have to struggle at times. I will lose sleep. I will have physical pain due to the Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease and whatever is wrong with my muslces tha the doctor hasn’t been able to name just yet.
But I will make this year my bitch.
I will continue to work hard — beyond what I thought I could ever manage to do. I will remember my priorities and keep them in order. I will make more of an effort to connect with those who I cherish in REAL ways — not just through vague social media status messages. I will work with my doctors to find a plan that allows me to have more freedom, less pain, and a better lifestyle. I will spend more time relaxing and doing absolutely nothing. I will pay my bills, feed my family, and begin to try and pay back all of the people who helped us. I will also attempt to begin saving a little money every month so that I can be prepared should something horrible ever happen again.
This is how I will make the new year my bitch. I won’t do it by setting unrealistic goals. I won’t do it by pretending I’m something — or someone — that I am not. I won’t accomplish it by trying to get rich, famous, or important.
I will do it simply by living my life as best I can. I will accomplish this by continuing to push myself to be the best ME that I can be. I will not sit and wait for good things to happen: I will create the opportunities myself. I won’t just hope that my career will flourish even more: I will work harder than ever before and MAKE that happen. I won’t take my family and friends for granted: I will make sure every single day that they know how much I cherish and love them all.
Look out, 2013. I’m coming for you.