How to Cope With Fibromyalgia

Posted on January 5, 2013 by Kat

meaning-of-lifeThroughout my life, writing down my feelings has helped me to cope with them. For some reason, I’ve never written about my health. Sure, I’ve posted a few status messages on Facebook about having a bad pain day. Tonight, I actually opened up a little and ranted. I tried to put into words what my life has been reduced to. I was angry at the time, so my words were a jumbled mess. The desire to explain, though, haunted me all night. Even now – at 3am, exhausted and in a fog of pain – I cannot sleep because the words want to pour from my heart and mind. I HAVE to write about this or it will drive me crazy.

Just in case someone reads this who doesn’t know my history, let’s go back in time just a little. To those of you whom I hold dear, please bear with me through this part. Perhaps you’ll even learn details you never knew… details of my journey to this point.

In June of 1992, I was in a serious car accident. I was driving a tiny little Ford EXP that had no backseat even. I was on a small service road mainly used by semi trucks and it had been raining. The road was curvy and I wasn’t going very fast. I’ve always been an overly cautious driver. When I started to round one of the curves, I screamed. A semi was coming toward me way too fast and on my side of the road. Instead of slowing down to take the curves the right way he was barreling through them on the wrong side. Instead of doing the things drummed into our heads as we learned to drive, I panicked completely and jerked the wheel. It’s actually a damn good thing I did. Being in that tiny car and not wearing a seatbelt, I likely would have died (or been much more seriously injured) had he hit me head on. Instead, the tiny car hit the high curb at the side of the road and bounced back. The big rig clipped the car at the drivers’ side door. The impact wasn’t as bad as I had expected, but I was thrown forward hard enough to still be able to hear the sound of my head hitting the wheel to this day. It’s a wonder I didn’t have a head injury. I was lucky to only suffer minor bruising in my lower back and some whiplash in my neck – or so I thought.

The doctors at the time told me it would hurt off and on for up to a few months and that I should rest and blah blah blah. They were the doctors, so I took them at their word. Months later the pain was still unbearable. Long story short, I ended up at several doctors over the next two years. None of them could help me. None of their stupid pills did anything. They tried to suggest they shove a steel rod up my spine. Uh… no. I refused. Finally, I ended up seeing a Chiropractor out of desperation about three years after the wreck. That’s when I learned that I had already developed Degenerative Disc Disease in my back and neck.

I’ve struggled with that for many years, slowly putting on more weight year after year. As the degeneration and pain get worse, I can do even less. As I do even less, I gain more weight. As I gain more weight, it hurts in my back even more. This circle has been tormenting me for years and caused a lot of stress on my body and my overall health. That’s when the other issues began – and I chalked them all up to being fat.

Some of the symptoms were so different from each other that I never knew they were related. Let’s be blunt here: who in their right mind would think to tell their doctor that they’re having trouble with constant diarrhea and pain when someone touches your shoulder? We are given very short windows of time with our physicians. We pick and choose the worst things to discuss so that we can get answers and relief. I had never thought to list every symptom I dealt with regularly all at once. Maybe that’s why no doctor ever thought to look at Fibromyalgia.

I finally got my diagnosis. For several years, I begged God, my family and various doctors to figure out what was wrong with me and fix it. The pain I deal with is impossible to describe. Well-meaning friends and family will say things such as “oh, I have a bad back – I know how you feel.” No… no you don’t. You can’t, and I’m glad you can’t. But you just… can’t.

If it were only the pain, I might be handling this better. The disease has progressed a LOT in the past year. On any given day, I deal with severe muscle twitches for hours on end in different body muscles. Some days, it might be my eyebrow. Sometimes it’s a leg muscle, an area on my arm or even my finger. The tightness and pain in my back, neck and shoulders NEVER goes away completely. I only wish I were kidding. It’s ALWAYS there. Some days, it’s just a niggling pain. Days like today are a painkiller-mixed-with-muscle-relaxer-day. I hate those days and I hate those stupid pills. I will have constant diarrhea. I will have severe mood swings, snapping at even the tiniest thing my kids, grandkids or fiance do and say. I can sink into such a deep depression without warning that I struggle just to want to get out of bed and stop crying. My fingers are sore and stiff, making it so hard to type. Considering I get paid to type a lot of words every day, this is something that bothers me greatly. What’s going to happen to David and I when the day comes that I can no longer work? I’ve worked so hard for so many years to build this career and get to this place financially. I’m terrified of what will happen when it’s ripped away from me.

There are other, smaller symptoms and problems. The one that bothers me the most, though, is the Fibro Fog. My brain just – won’t work. It’s nearly impossible to concentrate. I will forget something that was told to me only moments before. My long-term memory is fine. I have almost zero short-term memory now and have to make constant notes to remember things. I struggle to say things properly, spell words correctly or even remember how in the hell to do the work I love so much. I CAN do it, and somehow I DO do it… but I honestly don’t know how sometimes. Is it by rote? Is it sheer determination? Luck? I don’t know – and I’m scared to find out.

I hate that my life has been reduced to this. I am humiliated when I go to a mall and get pushed around in a wheelchair. I’m humiliated by the dirty looks I get when I ride around WalMart in one of those electric carts… I’ve actually had a person make rude comments to me about “her only disability is being fat.” I smiled sweetly at that and informed the lady that I wasn’t disabled because I am fat – I am fat because I am disabled. Then I zipped away on the cart with tears in my eyes.

I hate feeling like a failure. My body is broken and my spirit isn’t far behind. I push myself beyond my physical limits every day simply because I refuse to give up. I research daily, looking for answers – treatments – ways to make this stupid disease be less than it is. I play word games and do puzzles to help keep my brain focusing. I feel broken. I’m a failure. Helpless. Pathetic.

But it all spirals out from under me when something new happens… such as earlier tonight.

I went grocery shopping today. I cleaned a little in the apartment. I worked at my desk for several hours. And, well – I folded and put away three baskets of clothes that Beka had washed. It was far too much and I paid for it dearly. I laid on my bed crying from the tightness and pain… silently begging the multiple muscle spasms to just stop. I had to go to the restroom and asked David to help me up. I’ve had trouble standing up at times for years, and I’m used to that. However, when I went to sit up my body informed me that wasn’t happening. My back and shoulders were locked up so badly that it was like they were completely frozen… they wouldn’t work. I couldn’t sit up by myself for the first time. The tears came and David gently put his arm around my back and sat me up. I sobbed, telling him how utterly humiliated I was. At that moment, I felt as though my life was over – SHOULD be over. He held me and soothed me as always, telling me I am not broken, that he loves me and that it wasn’t a big deal.

It IS a big deal. He cannot possibly understand, and that’s okay. I wouldn’t want him to. I don’t wish this suffering all day every day on any of you. Yes, your back may hurt. You may even have a bulging disc or two like I do. You might suffer from IBS like members of my family. But you cannot understand the constant debilitating pain that I deal with. I’m tired of locking that pain inside. I’m going to write about it – often. I’m going to rant and scream and cry – and stop holding it in. Doing so is killing me even more than the physical symptoms.

I’m going to cope with Fibromyalgia by acknowledging that I have it – by talking about it – by educating others and by taking control of my sanity. It’s all I can do at this point. I want others to somehow be able to comprehend – even though they don’t get it fully – what I’m going through. By sharing with all of my family and friends, I know that you’ll have a light go on in your head. YOu’ll either feel pity and slowly turn away or you’ll step up and support me emotionally… support I’m learning I desperately need.

Fibrmyalgia isn’t life-threatening in and of itself. The problems that can arise because of it definitely are. The health issues brought on by inactivity due to Fibro are. The crushing depression that is caused by life with Fibro is. In order for me to live to a very old age with David, I NEED the support of others. I need love, understanding and even help managing daily. I have to stop pushing myself so hard physically and mentally. I need to ASK FOR HELP.

Doing these things will help me to cope. They have to. I can’t keep living in so much pain, depression, fear and anger alone anymore.

I need help.

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I Will Make 2013 My Bitch

Posted on December 31, 2012 by Kat

newyearI sent out a Tweet a little while ago in an attempt to be funny. It stated simply: I’m making 2013 my bitch. I laughed at my dorkiness for a few moments, and then I began to think. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how much I meant exactly what I said. It’s no secret that the past couple of years have been the most difficult of my life in many ways. I wanted to give up and crawl in a hole so many times, but I didn’t. I kept pushing myself beyond the limits I thought I had. I kept trying to see the positive side of everything we went through. Slowly but surely, the past few months have seen an improvement every time the calendar turns. It’s getting better. And I’m going to make damn sure the next year is the best yet.

Yes, things will happen that are beyond my control. I’ve learned that the hard way. I’ve also learned that once something bad and unexpected happens, it follows that more things will pile up against you. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles. You shovel yourself out from under it all, one layer at a time. I’ve been so blessed to have been able to count on so many wonderful friends who helped us through this horrible period. But I’ve come to realize that I have also been able to count on myself. When something new comes along that doesn’t fit in with my plans, I will simply grab my shovel and begin to dig.

I don’t have any illusions for the coming year. I won’t get rich. I won’t magically become healthy. There will be no headlines with my name in them. I will have problems. I will have to struggle at times. I will lose sleep. I will have physical pain due to the Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease and whatever is wrong with my muslces tha the doctor hasn’t been able to name just yet.

But I will make this year my bitch.

I will continue to work hard — beyond what I thought I could ever manage to do. I will remember my priorities and keep them in order. I will make more of an effort to connect with those who I cherish in REAL ways — not just through vague social media status messages. I will work with my doctors to find a plan that allows me to have more freedom, less pain, and a better lifestyle. I will spend more time relaxing and doing absolutely nothing. I will pay my bills, feed my family, and begin to try and pay back all of the people who helped us. I will also attempt to begin saving a little money every month so that I can be prepared should something horrible ever happen again.

This is how I will make the new year my bitch. I won’t do it by setting unrealistic goals. I won’t do it by pretending I’m something — or someone — that I am not. I won’t accomplish it by trying to get rich, famous, or important.

I will do it simply by living my life as best I can. I will accomplish this by continuing to push myself to be the best ME that I can be. I will not sit and wait for good things to happen: I will create the opportunities myself. I won’t just hope that my career will flourish even more: I will work harder than ever before and MAKE that happen. I won’t take my family and friends for granted: I will make sure every single day that they know how much I cherish and love them all.

Look out, 2013. I’m coming for you.

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What Happens To Your Outdated Social Profiles?

Posted on December 12, 2012 by Kat

XangaMy friend Drew Olanoff got me thinking with a recent Tweet about Photobucket. I replied to him with something snarky and then put “note to self: find and delete old PB account.” I shuddered when I thought about the pictures languishing there. Thankfully, y’all will never find it. I used an email address and username from years before I started working in social media, and have never used those since for anything. Whew! But still… now that I remember they’re there, I really don’t want them there.

Social sites come and social sites go. There are a few that will dig in for the long haul such as Facebook and Twitter. We once thought that about MySpace. Oh and Xanga. Remember that place? I’m willing to bet your old profile is still there. And the dumb photos you’d rather no one see these days. Let’s not forget the status messages about your ex – the one you’re hoping your current love never sees.

You’ve forgotten about those accounts, haven’t you? I did and I KNOW better. As more and more of these types of web spaces open up on a daily basis, it’s something we need to think about. How often have you signed up for a hot new site, filled in a profile complete with pictures and information and then quickly moved on to the next shiny new toy? That stuff doesn’t get deleted except in the rare case the site actually closes. Go ahead – I’ll wait while you go confirm that your old MySpace and Xanga pages are still there.

When the announcement came a little while ago about the “new” new MySpace, I went into full panic mode. I knew everyone would go log in or create new profiles to check it out. I remembered what my profile looked like and nearly threw up. It was full of blinky stuff, lovey-dovey quotes, messages to my ex and pictures of the two of us. I don’t want to remember that stuff let alone have to have anyone see it. It took me about ten minutes to get in – I had no clue which old password and email I had used. Finally – I was able to delete most of it and clean it up. That process took a while, admittedly, but was worth it.

So what should we do? It’s simple. We’re all still going to join new sites and create profiles. I recommend keeping them very basic at first unless you become a heavy user. That way if you never log in again you have nothing to worry about in the future. Additionally, let’s say a Facebook killer DOES come along one day and you decide you’re going to make “the switch.” Take the time to clean up anything on the old site you wouldn’t want someone to see in five years. Download your data/photos/etc on sites that allow it. Delete anything that could somehow incriminate or embarrass you later in life.

It may seem like a pain to have to do these things, but how will you feel when you run for President one day and some lame reporter digs up your long-forgotten drunken toga party pics on MySpace?

Posted in Musings, Random Thoughts, Social Media | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

A Startup Life is the Life for Me

Posted on December 11, 2012 by Kat

Small logoI’ve wanted to work with a startup for a couple of years now. I applied for a few positions and watched enviously as companies hired only within “The Valley.” I can’t move cross-country due to my daughter being under eighteen. A few months ago, Dave Peck (yes, of PayPal fame) mentioned he was helping to find a “Social/Community Rockstar” to help build social and community from the ground up for a hot startup. The position could definitely be remote. What the heck? I threw my hat into the ring, certain I’d never even hear back. There are a LOT of people out there who know a little more than I do, and even a small handful who have one or two more years of experience. Imagine my shock and joy when Dave not only recommended to ActMobile that I was their girl – they hired me! My official title is: Director of Social and Community. Sounds awesome, doesn’t it?

There was absolutely zero social presence beyond the securing of a Twitter and Facebook name, so I dove in headfirst, knowing how much I had to do. I have begun building things up on both platforms and started working on Quora and Google+, as well. We are approaching launch day, so it’s crucial to get us to a point where people can find and interact with us.

To anyone not in the know, this may all sound pretty dang simple. “She gets paid to play on Facebook all day? Seriously?!” Uh – well – sort of, yes, I do. It’s definitely not as easy as naysayers think – including my own momma. Bless her soul. She doesn’t understand this stuff beyond sharing funny pictures and stories with family on Facebook. I think she’s still waiting for me to find a “real” job in an office somewhere. No thanks – I left the rat race behind six years ago. I’m never going back. I LIKE working my own hours in my own home while wearing pajama pants and a ponytail. Don’t judge me!

Startup life is freaking HARD, whether you’re in the office with the rest of the team or at home like me. In some ways, I think doing this remotely is more difficult due to having to wait on answers from the guys in other parts of the country before I can proceed with an idea I have. I can’t just walk over to their desk and show them something I’m working on – I have to email/Tweet/Facebook/Skype/call them and explain my vision and goals and then play the waiting game. Don’t get me wrong, John and John are great at answering pretty quickly. Still – it’s just not as immediate as it would be if I were in the same office.

The hours I am working are insane. I put in my four hours a day with Chris Pirillo and LockerGnome as the Social Media Manager. I throw in an hour or two a day doing things for other beloved yet smaller clients, such as Willow Bl00, Johnny Diggz and the rest of the GWOB team. Then we have the startup – we are ramping up for launch, so I’m driving myself crazy making sure things on my side are perfect. I’m putting in about eight hours per day (seven days per week) JUST on their stuff. I know in my heart I could be doing more, but I have to sleep sometime! Yes, you added that right: I’m up to about 14 hours per day right now. At the age of 41. While disabled. Go me! I totally just patted myself on the back and did a little dance in my chair.

Startup life is complicated. It’s scary. It’s time-consuming. It’s frustrating. It’s insane.

It also happens to be freaking AWESOME. I love every minute of this. I am doing something amazing – breathing life into the online aspect of our company on MY terms, using MY ideas and MY initiatives. How cool is that? I get to do this while always keeping in mind that very soon, ActMobile will be a very IMPORTANT name in the startup/tech/mobile world. The traffic we will get will soon skyrocket, of that I am sure. Trust me when I say this is HOT – and I’m so damn excited to be part of it. A year from now, after I’ve hired a few people to work under me, I will be able to look back at this accomplishment and realize that finally – FINALLY! – I’ve made my mark on this industry. I know I’ve gotten to do some cool things with some amazing people in the past few years, but every one of them were helping to prepare me for this. I was meant to do this.

The startup life is definitely the life for me.

Thank you, Dave Peck – I am forever indebted to you for helping this dream become a reality, for believing in me and for mentoring me.

Posted in Community Management, Social Media | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Stop Selling and Get Social

Posted on October 25, 2012 by Kat

This morning started out no differently than any other. I showered and dressed, straightened up our apartment and decided what to cook for dinner. I then fired up the computer and headed out to the porch with my iPhone to enjoy the last (likely) warm day of this year for a few moments. I scanned Twitter and Facebook, seeing the same old same old posted everywhere. I’m so used to this that I didn’t realize how BAD my streams have gotten… until I looked at a beautiful photograph my good friend Dave Delaney had posted of him and his son. It was in that moment that I remembered what the hell social media is for.

We all have become so good at marketing ourselves, our companies or our clients on Facebook, Google+ and Twitter that we have forgotten to be social. We aren’t sharing our lives. We aren’t talking to each other. We’re too busy competing for the most clicks, favorites and Likes. We crave those almighty shares and will do whatever it takes to get them. You bet your ass social marketing is a glorious thing. I won’t bother to deny it. I get paid to leverage my clients in these spaces, just like you do.

It saddens me, though, that we no longer truly socialize with each other. I’m not talking about the damn checkins from Foursquare telling the world what you’re eating for lunch or which movie you’ll be attending. I want to know what you think. How do you feel about relevant issues? I want you to stop blindly reTweeting links to an article you enjoyed and instead tell me WHY you liked it. What’s your take on those written words? How would you have written the story differently?

When all of these thoughts collided in my blonde little head, I spent an hour going through Tweets and Facebook posts. I calculated approximately 95% of what I saw fell into one of three categories:

  • Links to articles (this includes re-sharing) with zero commentary, follow-up or original thoughts added.
  • Quick messages telling me to buy your book/service/product – most of which didn’t bother to tell me WHY I should want to do this.
  • Missives begging me to look at this metric or that report.

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of talking about ROI. I don’t want to hear any more about metrics. I don’t give a flying fig what your “numbers” are, honestly. I want you to talk to me – and this includes companies and brands. Even a company can have a conversation. People will appreciate you answering their questions and asking some of your own to facilitate discussion MUCH more than they’ll appreciate yet another link to yet another sale. I promise.

Don’t you remember the days where building relationships and trust was the most important thing you could do in the social space? Do you all honestly believe that turning into some link-posting robot is going to build anything? All you’re doing is making people want to tune you out. I’m just as guilty, but I’m vowing here and now to change that.

I want to talk to you. I want to get to know you. I want to understand WHY you think the way you do. I want you to explain to me how your company/product/service can help me – WITHOUT throwing statistics or metrics at me. What was your vision when you started? Why did you decide to do what you’re doing? Where do you plan to go from here?

Social media sites are boring these days, y’all. I dare you to look at your own streams through critical eyes and tell me you aren’t seeing the same thing. I wondered briefly if I’m just following all of the wrong people. It’s definitely not that: I have cultivated a pretty awesome list of friends on all of my social networks. You’re all different – and that’s what I love about each and every one of you.

Here’s my challenge to you: I DARE you to stop selling and be social – even for half an hour. Don’t post a single link to yourself, your product or your service. Don’t talk about metrics or numbers or tools. Telling people their business will never thrive without you is not allowed, either. Instead, I want you to just TALK TO PEOPLE. Ask them questions. Answer theirs. Open a discussion about something (NOT POLITICS!!) that is important to you. Find out how others feel.

Building this type of relationship is going to be far more valuable to you than anything else you will do this week… this month… or this year.

Posted in Community Management, Musings, Random Thoughts, Rants, Social Media | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Showtime About to be in a Customer Service Nightmare

Posted on July 13, 2012 by Kat

If you live in the social space, you know that San Diego Comic Con is going on right now. This is a big event, folks. There are like – a bajillion people in attendance. Anyone who is anyone is there – except me, of course. All the cool kids hang out. Television shows, games, comic book companies and other mediums are represented. Having a company presence at this phenomenal event is crucial for many businesses, but be careful: people ARE listening to every word you say.

Zack Stentz Tweeted just a bit ago from the floor. My mouth hit MY floor when I read his words: “Dear Showtime execs loudly mocking costume wearers & describing ‪#ComicCon‬ as a “freakshow”: that’s your audience you’re insulting, assholes.”

Uh oh. Someone from Showtime is about to lose their job – or should. You simply don’t attend an event of ANY magnitude (especially one this large) and snidely deride the very people you hope will buy your service or product. It’s like the golden freaking rule of customer service. If you really felt the need to trash those individuals, don’t you think it would have been a damn good idea to wait until you hit the privacy of your hotel room tonight? Perhaps you should have just kept your mouth shut and your thoughts to yourself.

Welcome to the social world, Showtime. EVERYONE will now see the words your executives uttered during one of the biggest fan gatherings of the year. Current and potential customers from all over the world know exactly how important people from your organization view them. Tell me this – why would I bother to want to watch your channels after this? If you think this is no big deal, just wait… wait until there are hundreds of blog posts like mine attempting to get it through your thick fricken’ skulls that this was a HUGE screw-up. Just wait until that lone Tweet is zinged through the Twittersphere, posted to Facebook and re-shared on Google+. Oh wait – perhaps it will even show up in places such as Pinterest as a brand NOT to buy from due to their lack of care and concern for their customers.

Bigger companies than you have had serious fallout due to crap customer service. You’d think you – and others like you – would have learned from their oopsies. It’s simple, honestly: treat your customers as though they are the most important, influential and intelligent people in the world. Guess what? THEY ARE.

Posted in Random Thoughts | 1 Comment

Social Gaming Should NOT be in Your Media Plan

Posted on June 18, 2012 by Kat

Oy Vey. I read an article earlier that made my mouth hit the floor. I’m pretty sure I whispered an expletive or three. The author lists seven reasons why your brand “must” incorporate some type of social game in order to attract and keep a community of followers. Unfortunately, I’m not joking.

Before you start yelling at me, I already understand the damn statistics:

  • 600 million users play games on Facebook. 50% of the U.S. population between the ages of 18 to 44 does so on a daily basis.
  • Ads shown inside of these games are delivered during breaks in the game. This means your ad will be seen pretty much every single time.
  • Mobile is the growth of social gaming! Yep, I know… I play AngryBirds too. Apparently, the author is convinced this will extend the penetration and reach of your campaign.

While I cannot argue with those facts, the part of the article I take offense to is this:

Social gaming produces positive emotions, stronger social relationships and a sense of achievement among users that your brand can take part in. As a result, consumers associate these good emotions with your messaging.

WRONG! There is something that produces positive emotions and stronger social relationships, and I guarantee it isn’t some damn game. It’s human interaction. Stop being lazy by letting a game do the work for you. Get out there in the trenches and cultivate those relationships. TALK TO PEOPLE. Stop worrying so much about ROI and metrics and all that other crap that self-titled “gurus” spout the need to worry about. Get back to focusing on the people themselves and watch what happens.

I absolutely hate that social media is turning into nothing more than a giant marketing tool. There’s a right and a wrong way to build a loyal and happy community around your brand. Throwing links at them, promising special sales or giving them a game to waste time with a couple of times are all very wrong. Asking people how they are, finding out who they are and figuring out a way to truly ENGAGE them is what is right.

A Community Manager isn’t someone who pushes out a bunch of rah-rah about your brand and then sits back and promises to make things right when something goes wrong. A Community Manager is right there IN the community… talking to people… getting to know them… making them truly feel connected to what you are doing. When this happens, all of that ROI mumbo-jumbo will naturally happen all by itself. Pinky promise.

Posted in Community Management, Rants, Social Media | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Why Do You Need a Virtual Assistant?

Posted on June 16, 2012 by Kat

Let’s face it: there simply are not enough hours in the day for you to get everything accomplished. It doesn’t matter how organized you are nor how many lists you make – things happen. Calls and emails come in. Clients need something urgently. Your child has a doctor’s appointment and your significant other is out of town. You have a speaking engagement this evening, but another client absolutely needs that proposal written up before morning. Your hair is turning grey right before your eyes, wrinkles are showing up on your forehead and you are tired. You look in the mirror at night and ask yourself how in the hell you’re going to get through the next day.

Does this sound even remotely like you? I’m willing to bet that many of you are now nodding your head in agreement. I understand that you don’t feel you can give up control of portions of your work. It’s difficult. How can you be sure it will be done correctly? What if you pay the assistant and they just decide not to complete the task? Isn’t it easier just to do it yourself – somehow – even at the cost of your health and personal life? How will you even find the time to tell a VA what it is you need to have done and give them the necessary access, tools and information to help you?

Trust me. I understand. One of the first things many of my clients have told me is “I KNOW I need help – but I don’t know how/where/why.” I take the time to really talk with them. We go over various things they’re working on and discuss areas where I may be able to help lighten the load. We work together to figure out the best course of action. At first, it’s a difficult transition for some people. There are those who want to speak with me umpteen times each day at first, making sure that I’m on top of things. I never turn away a request to talk and am very open about what I’m doing, how I’m handling things and why things are going the way they are every step of the way.

Another type of client may drop the ball on communication. They’ll ask me to do a project for them – and then get too busy to answer any questions. I cannot possibly redo your website without input from you. I can’t fix the nightmare that is your Inbox unless you give me at least a little bit of guidance as to what you want to focus on and what can be set aside or unsubscribed from.

Most of the time, though, I’ve been fortunate to work with amazing people. We discuss a task, I get it done quickly and perfectly and they ride off into the sunset happily. Many times, they come back when they need something else done. Several of them have kindly passed along other opportunities and connections.

Your life and your work are busy – there is no doubt about that. I can help you become more successful by doing some of the “grunt” work that you just don’t have time for – yet which is necessary to be completed – leaving you to focus on the larger picture. I’m always open to tailoring a package which works for both of us, whether you’re needing help with one project or someone to help out on a regular basis.

Let me help you grow your business while leaving time for you to actually have a life. That, my friends, is what it’s all about anyway.

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Community Management: Marketing or Customer Service?

Posted on June 7, 2012 by Kat

Let me preface this post by explaining just a little of my background. I am not a snob – but I do have very set opinions of what a Community Manager is and does. I began my CM career as a volunteer moderator for a wedding website forum back in 1999. I quickly moved up to Administrator there, and helped manage a very robust site with more than 50,000 active women. From there, I branched out over the years into working as a volunteer moderator/administrator on many large computer help forums, sports-related forums and more. I even helped run a few IRC networks in my day. All of these things translated into a paying job in 2007 when I went to work as the Community Manager for Chris Pirillo. There again, I dealt with people – not products.

Earlier today, I happened across a job posting on Twitter for a Community Manager with a company I very much respect. I clicked through to the listing to check it out and was actually angry to see that they had listed the job under “Marketing” – two categories below the people they needed to hire in “Customer Service.” Wait, what? Since when did managing a community evolve from working with people into pushing a damn product or service? Say I’m behind the times all you want, but I think this is a travesty to the profession… not an evolution as some claim.

A Marketer deals with marketing products or services. A PR person deals with public relations. A Community Manager deals with people. Period. End of story. Managing a community isn’t supposed to be about trying to convince a group of people to buy whatever it is you’re selling. It’s about breathing life into them – connecting them to each other and giving them the platform and tools to change the world. Your company may be what brought them together, but do you really think they’re only going to stick around because you sell the best gadget for the lowest price? They want interaction. They want direction. They want to become a true community.

Many of you are going to argue that the role of the CM is changing to include marketing and brand evangelism. There again – I disagree. A Community Manager works with the people – talking to them, listening to them, interacting with them and helping to evolve and grow the hamlet. A Brand Evangelist is something completely different. These people are the cheerleaders for the company itself and the things being sold. They deal with customers, yes… in order to facilitate sales and keep them happy with product.

Can a single person do both things at once? Absolutely! However, slapping the title of Community Manager on a job description stating you want someone to help you sell yourself is just not cool. Call it what it is folks – a Marketer, a PR person or even a Brand Evangelist. If you want someone to work with people in order to help build a true COMMUNITY – then we can talk.

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How Should Celebrities be Using Social Media?

Posted on April 2, 2012 by Kat

We all know that celebrities such as Ashton Kutcher have taken to social media sites in a very big way over the past year. We see stars coming from all industries carrying millions of fans and followers. Many of these people interact on a regular basis, sharing their lives with us just like anyone else would. However, some of the VIPs have begun to turn over the handling of their accounts to marketing and PR companies. I’m not so sure this is a great idea.

I’m going to pick on Ashton for a few moments to illustrate an important point. We’ve all heard stories of his big Twitter oopsie. The man received a lot of flak over saying something he felt was right at the time. OMG… he made a mistake. So what? I’m willing to wager every single one of us has – at some point – Tweeted out something we later wish we hadn’t. Do we hire a PR person to write on our behalf? Of course we don’t. We may apologize or even pretend it never happened, but we continue on as before. We’re human after all. We screw up. We learn from our mistakes and we keep going.

Ashton’s blooper wasn’t the Tweet itself. His flub was in giving up on himself. He still has a bajillion followers, but how many bother to follow the stream now? They know the words aren’t coming from Kutcher. Mr. celebrity is no longer sharing his life – someone else is simply sharing his work. I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather find out what he thinks about current topics, how he feels about the world around him and what his plans are for the future. I don’t give a rat’s patootie when his next appearance is. I wanted to understand and know Ashton as a PERSON – not as some Hollywood icon.

So what should these stars do? They have to be real. They shouldn’t have some mouthpiece sending out missives for them. Why can’t more of them embrace social media like WWE star Shawn Michaels does? Shawn talks WITH people – he doesn’t talk AT them. He interacts. He answers questions. He lets us into his life – good and bad. Sure, he may talk about his upcoming adventures in showbiz occasionally, but more often you’ll find him discussing his latest hunting trip or something fun he did with his kids. That, my friends, is a perfect example of a superstar getting social media absolutely right.

I’m sick to death of the PR people taking over Twitter, and it’s time the hotshots themselves take it back. Social media marketing is powerful, yes. It’s a great way for musicians, actors, sports bigwigs and writers to promote themselves, yes. But they need to learn to just hang out and BE THERE, instead of only trying to sell us – well – themselves.

Talk to us, folks… I guarantee we’ll love you a lot more (and buy more of your stuff!!) once you do.

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